Zach Of All Trades

World Tour 08-09: January 2-3, 2009

2009-01-08T16:31:00.011-05:00

The "Poo On You" Edition:

We woke on January 2 and decided to take the Blue Line again and visit the World of Birds and Houts Bay – only this time with sunscreen on my knees. After walking, again, to the Waterfront, we boarded the bus and were on our way.

Our first stop of the day was the World of Birds. This is somewhat misleading as they have every animal you can imagine there. They had walk-through aviaries so that you could get up-close to the birds (but be careful, they bite!) and so that you can get poo on your shoe – hey that rhymes! We also saw tiny monkeys (that Chris tried to get to hop on his shoulder with a stick – not the best idea), penguins, alpacas, guinea pigs and tons else. I didn’t take many photos of this place as Chris pulled his Annie Lebowitz all over the park (“hey, my camera can take up to 1000 photos!”). I’ll have those as soon as he burns them to CD for me. One thing I did take a photo of was this wonderful sign that I, personally, think should be posted at restaurants, theme parks, zoos, malls, or anywhere else that I frequent.

After our visit to the World of Birds, we made our way over to Houts Bay. Houts Bay is a cute little town on an inlet of the Atlantic full of fish markets, antique and souvenir shops, restaurants and meal carts, and sightseeing boats that offer to take you to Seal Island and a shipwreck. After a quick burger from one of the vendors on the beach, we made our way over to a charter boat going to the island and to the shipwreck. The wind was in my hair (yes, both of them on my head) and the scenery was beautiful.

We eventually made it to Seal Island, which isn’t really an island at all, but more of a couple of rocks off the coast where a bunch of seals sit in the sun. And I mean a bunch of seals! And it smelled really, really bad. Poo everywhere!

After sitting just off Seal Island so the hundreds of European tourists could take 5 million photos of seals, we traveled another 15 min or so to the shipwreck of the American. Evidently in a storm in 1994, this boat ran aground and could not be saved. It eventually came to shore in the remote area between Cape Town and Houts Bay and due to the cost associated with salvaging it, it was abandoned for tourists to gawk at. A photo is below and prepare yourself for the “Metaphor for the Bush Years” jokes!

After the boat ride, we boarded the bus and headed back to the Waterfront and the guest house to get ready for dinner out with Chris at a Wok-style restaurant down the street.

The next day, we were told that we had to go downtown to see the festival. The name of the festival would be seen as fairly racially-insensitive (read: offensive) in the States, so I’ll just call it the festival. From the description we were given, it seemed to be a mixture of a Mardi Gras parade in New Orleans and the Mummers Parade in Philadelphia. We made our way downtown around 11:00 AM. Upon arriving, we made our way to the parade route right as a group was marching by to an odd arrangement of Malaguena (although Chris doesn’t think that was – but I’m sure of it). We promptly took our place on the sidewalk and waited… and waited… and waited for the next group to walk by. Unbeknownst to us, there was some sort of disagreement between the organizers and the members of a local mosque. About 12:45 we decided to leave and head to the top of Table Mountain.

Table Mountain is the signature “skyline” of Cape Town. It is a large flat mountain that is the backdrop of the city and they have constructed a cable/gondola contraption that took you to the top. I was a bit leery to go to the top, as I could see clouds encompassing the peak, but Chris talked me into it and I’m glad we did.

We took the gondola to the top and saw the clouds passing beneath us as we looked down on the city from about 3200 feet. It was a beautiful view and the clouds rolling over the top of the mountain was just icing on the cake. Once we gathered our composure, we went for a short hike around the top of the peak and take some photos.

After we descended the mountain we went back to the guest house to get ready for dinner at what turned out to be a horrible Italian restaurant near our hotel. It was horribly cliched with writing all over the walls from tourists claiming it was the best Italian resturant in the world. I should have seen the writing on the wall (although most of it was from 1971 and it had evidently gone downhill from there).

World Tour 08-09: Dec 30, '08 - Jan 1, '09

2009-01-08T01:12:00.009-05:00

The "Boy Are My Knees Sunburned" Edition

When last I left you, I was in the Johannesburg Airport on a 3 hour layover to Cape Town. When we had made the transfer from Emirates to South African Airways, we had asked the gate agents about getting on an earlier flight. She responded in a put off way, “I’m sorry, all of the flights are full.” For the record there were 3 additional flights between the time of check-in and the time we were to depart. Somehow, I think she lied. We arrived at our gate about 45 minutes before we were to take off to be met with only 2-3 people. Once it became time to board, there were approximately 10 people (including us) on the flight. This would have seemed appropriate if we were not on a plane with a capacity of over 130. We skipped going back to Row 31 and plopped ourselves in the Exit Rows for our 1 hour and 45 min flight to Cape Town. The thing that stands out about the flight was the fact that on a 1 hour and 45 min flight, they served us a full meal (chicken curry). When was the last time that you had a domestic flight (in economy) less than 5 hours and they gave you anything more than a bag of Chex mix?

We arrived in Cape Town and was met by a very nice driver from the guest house. As we made our way to the trendy Greenpointe neighborhood, the driver pointed out and explained a lot of what we were seeing: The townships of shacks along the highway that the government is trying to replace before the 2010 World Cup, the largest hospital in South Africa, the new Greenpointe Stadium where many matches will be held in the 2010 World Cup… I wish I had paid more attention because he seemed very excited and the talk seemed interesting. However, I had been on a plane or in the airport for nearly 14 hours and it was 1AM in Dubai (where we had flown in from) and I was just looking forward to a nice long rest.

When in Cape Town, we stayed at a lovely place called David’s Guest House. Ok, it doesn’t sound too exciting from its name, but it was 2 really cute row-houses just up the hill from Main Road in Cape Town. It was easily walkable to many of the touristy areas of Cape Town, and cabs were available to everywhere else. We started New Year’s Eve having breakfast with some of our fellow guests and our hosts, Hannes and David. During breakfast, it was suggested that we take the City Sightseeing Blue Line bus that would allow us to go around Table Mountain and get a better idea of what we could do in the city. So we walked down to the V&A Waterfront and boarded the bus.

The bus trip was beautiful. It is an off/on bus, meaning you can get off anywhere you like and then you can hop on another one when you want and that they come every 45 minutes or so. The Blue Line took us to downtown Cape Town, then around to Kirstenbosh Botanical Gardens, then to a place called the World of Birds. It then went around to the coast at Houts Bay, back along the coast to Camps Bay and then to the Waterfront again. Chris decided to depart at the Botanical Gardens and I continued on, taking in the scenery all the way back to the Waterfront. Lesson to be learned: the African sun is very unforgiving and while I put sunscreen on my neck, arms, face, ears, and everywhere else above my waist with exposed flesh, I missed the very top of my knees – which were burned badly from the ride in the open top bus.

After departing the bus, I spent some time walking around the Waterfront and did some souvenir shopping, watched an 80’s cover band perform in the amphitheatre and returned to the guest house to prepare for the New Year’s Eve celebrations.

Hannes and David threw a small party in the main area of the Guest House for the guests and neighbors. It was a very nice party where you could meet your fellow travelers and folks from the neighborhood. I spoke at great length with an elderly couple that lived down the street. “I was a loose woman when I lived in Western Africa, before I met my husband, of course,” the woman said. And it seemed that everyone we came into contact with asked our opinion of Obama. One thing that really shocked me was the lack of the Americans. The only American that I met in Cape Town was a gentleman who was raised in Atlanta, but was working in Western Africa.

About 10:30PM, Chris and I decided to go to the Waterfront for the festivities and decided to share a cab and get a couple of drinks with 2 girls from Ireland who were working in the UAE. They had come to South Africa for the holidays and from the moment they left Dubai, their trip had been a nightmare – missed connections, cancelled tours, spending an unplanned night in Nairobi and Johannesburg en route to Cape Town. As they told us their stories, I became more and more horrified. To top it all off, Kathleen, Chris’s “date” for the evening had purchased a new camera for the trip and it was stolen out of her purse as we sat at the bar. As we sat talking at an outside table at an Irish Pub at the waterfront, the fireworks went off as Midnight brought in 2009. We all looked at each other and I kissed Adelle and Chris kissed Kathleen. I don’t think that would be foreshadowing any major life changes in 2009, however. *grin*

Zach and his “date” Adelle from Ireland/UAE

After talking at the bar until 1:30AM, I decided to walk back to the Guest House and let Chris and the girls have another drink. After a quick shower in what I will call our bathroom in the Guest House, I went to bed.

The bathroom itself had most everything you could want: a giant bathtub, toilet, sink, mirror. The only things missing were a door, a shower curtain and a shower head. Now, I’ve been to Europe and I know many of the bathrooms there are a bit “different” from those in the States, but come on – a door? Every time one of us wanted to shower, we had to send the other one out to have breakfast or check our email.

New Years Day was rather uneventful, from my perspective. I decided to lounge around the guest house, nap, read my book (A Thousand Splendid Suns – I highly recommend it) and generally be a couch potato – I am on vacation for goodness sakes. Chris, however, couldn’t let the day get by him and he raced off to do some touristy stuff. The only thing productive that I did this day was go to a late dinner with Chris at a tapas place and then made my way to the bars for a bit.

And that brings us to January 2.

World Tour 08-09: December 29-30, 2008

2008-12-30T11:57:00.006-05:00

The Sand In My Shoes Edition:

Monday, December 29, 2008, was quite the long and eventful day. We started by going to the Madinat Jumeirah complex to do a little shopping and take some photos of the Burj al Arab Hotel (the most famous building in Dubai and probably one of the most famous in the world)

After a couple of hours there, we went back to our hotel to get ready for our Desert Safari that left at 3PM. When the 4x4 arrived to pick us up (along with a nice couple from west-central Illinois and a couple from Pakistan) we were off to the races, literally! Our driver drove like a maniac as we crossed the streets of Dubai. I think we were on 2 wheels on a few of the corners. We all just hung-on and prayed that we’d make it alive. Little did we know that this would be good practice for the crazy driving we would face once we got to the dunes.

Once at the dunes we took a quick break and returned to the 4x4 (reluctantly) and began our four-wheeling adventure. Up the sand dunes, down the sand dunes, along the side of the sand dunes. Every time one of the other vehicles in our caravan spun out or slid down the side of the dunes, our driver (who spoke very little English) would shake his head and say, “tsk tsk tsk”. At one point he even said something to the effect that we were lucky, “those other drivers are from India and Bangladesh, what do they know about sand!?!” I have to say he was right. The boy who was 2-wheeling while talking on his cell phone didn’t do us wrong. (video of part of the ride is embedded in the blog, and linked to Facebook friends – and note that while this part of the ride didn’t look too bad, this was the part that I felt comfortable taking my hand off of the “oh crap” bars).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUCJr7ZZFuM

Once we were finished with the dunes, we went to a desert camp where they fed us some wonderful BBQ, Chris smoked the hookah (or however it is spelled) and gave us a belly dancer show. Walking around in the sand dunes put a great deal of sand in my Pumas (UGH!). And, finally, no trip to the desert would be complete without a nice camel ride.

We made it back to the hotel around 9PM and we crashed as we had to be up early this morning (Tuesday, December 30, 2008) in order to catch our flight to South Africa. The flight was long and uneventful (about 8 hours) and I had a window seat in economy – yep, no Business Class Upgrade for this leg. Hopefully we can make it back. At the time of this writing, I am in the Johannesburg, South Africa airport awaiting our transfer to Cape Town, where we will spend the New Year’s Holiday.

World Tour 08-09: December 27-28, 2008

2008-12-29T00:58:00.007-05:00

On our first full day in Dubai, Saturday, December 27, we were both a little jet-lagged but decided to get out and explore a bit. We made our way to the Mall of the Emirates and wondered around. After walking around and finding it to be just about like every mall we have ever been to (complete with a quick lunch at Chili’s) we made our way to Ski Dubai.

Bucket List:
Learn to Snowboard – Check
Visit Ski Dubai – Check

For those of you who do not know, Ski Dubai is a massive (and I mean MASSIVE) indoor ski slope at the Mall of the Emirates. There is a small snow park in the facility where people can play in the snow and ride little bob-sled routes. But that is not what Chris wanted to do. He decided that we should take an hour-long snowboarding lesson. I must have been feeling adventurous – or maybe I was just suffering temporary insanity – but I agreed. After getting on our boots, snow-suit and our snowboard, we made our way over to ski-school to meet our Bulgarian snowboard instructor Emile.

Chris and I were the only takers in the 3PM snowboard class so we had a lot of hands-on instruction, unlike those individuals in the ski-class (which had like 10 people) and it turned out to actually be a good thing - we needed all the help we could get. We learned the basics of snowboarding, like we need to wear gloves (oops, how did we miss that one?), which foot is our strong foot (I’m a “goofy”, Chris is “regular”), and how to ride the little conveyer belt to the top of the bunny hill (which was not fluffy or even a hill – more like the edge of a gigantic gorge!).

This photo actually makes Chris look like he knows what he was doing, but he was really screaming like a little girl and fell down very shortly after

Surprisingly, I realized I’m a bit better of a snowboarder than I expected – but then again, next to Chris I looked like I was ready for the Olympics. We went down the bunny-hill three times with a flat board (meaning not skate-board style, but with our feet straight ahead) and I only fell the final time at the very bottom. By the time our hour was over, I was exhausted but very happy I had the experience. And even have my little certificate of accomplishment. We then went to the grocery store in the mall so that Chris could find some Middle-Eastern Ben-Gay to recover from his many (and I mean MANY) falls on the bunny-hill. Back at the hotel, we made our way to the Club Lounge to have complimentary drinks and appetizers in lieu of dinner and I went back to our room to hit the sack, while Chris went for a short swim. Not a bad way to start the trip.

On Sunday, December 28, we spoke with the receptionist at the hotel who directed us to the new Dubai Mall to look around. The mall is quite extensive and contains a very large aquarium at the entrance. After watching the fish for a few moments, we wandered around for a bit before deciding to visit the Camel Races near the horse track. Unfortunately for us, Sunday was the first day of the Islamic New Year and there were no Camel Races today, so we went to the Gold Souk to look for gifts for friends and family back home.

After spending too much money at the Souk, we came back to the hotel before venturing out for a nice dinner of Shrimp and kabobs at a restaurant called Automatic near our hotel. While walking back to the hotel, we both commented that it was a beautiful evening for a walk (low 70's, slightly breezy), stopped at a gas station for some snacks, and even got propositioned by an Asian hooker (talk about someone who needed to work on her client identification skills). Day 2 also seemed to be a winner!

World Tour 08-09: The Trip Begins

2008-12-29T00:35:00.008-05:00

My world tour started with conversations in late 2007 with my friend Chris. We had originally discussed doing a full around-the-world trip, Amazing Race-style, hitting every continent. While this sounds great in theory, it proved to be quite expensive in reality, so we began searching for alternatives. We then decided to fly to Southeast Asia and purchase an Airpass that would allow us a limited number of flights throughout the region to hit as many locales as possible, but this, too, proved to be cost-prohibitive.

Then one day over the summer, my friends Shawn and Verne suggested we just join them for a trip to South Africa over the New Year’s holiday. I honestly did not suspect that Chris would go for the option as he seemed to have his heart set on Asia, but much to my surprise he loved the idea. Unfortunately, Shawn and Verne were unable to take the trip due to schedule and job issues.

The idea for a stop-over happened in the late-summer when Emirates Airlines launched their Airbus 380 service between Dubai and New York. Knowing that they also flew to Johannesburg, I decided to price the trip that would allow us to fly on this new and exciting airliner. Surprisingly, with the layover in Dubai (a location we had planned in the very first version of the trip), the flight was quite a bit less expensive than a direct flight from Washington to Cape Town. With all of these positives, we booked the flight in early-October and waited for the trip to begin.

The official journey began for me at approximately 2:30PM on Christmas Day. I hailed a taxi to take me to Metro Center in order to catch the Bolt Bus to New York. The Bolt Bus is a wonderful way to travel between DC and NYC. The trip took approximately 3 hours and 45 minutes and cost around $20, which is only slightly longer than the Amtrak regional rail and about $50 cheaper. Then I hailed a cab which took me to JFK airport to meet up with Chris.

Upon arriving at JFK Terminal 4, it finally hit me that I was starting my journey into the unknown. As I waited for about 45 minutes on Chris to arrive, I watched as countless people checked-in at the Emirates counter – people from all over the world. I started to get nervous wondering about what I was about to see, what I was about to encounter and thinking of all the potential problems I could face. Chris eventually arrived and we proceeded to the check-in desk.

We were motioned to the empty Business Class check-in line and we gave the nice Emirates employee our passports. Chris began to joke with the gentleman asking, “did our Business Class upgrade come through?” The guy seemed confused for a moment and I explained that he was just joking. A few moments later, Chris’s bag was tagged with a Business Class tag and the Emirates guys said something to the effect of, “Congratulations, you’ve been upgraded.” We looked at our tickets and like a bunch of giggly school girls made our way to the gate thinking we just hit the jackpot.

Because we were complimentary upgraded, we were not allowed access to the Emirates Lounge so we hung around at the gate and I snapped a few photos of the plane from the boarding area (see below) and waited to board. When boarding began, the 450 or so passengers with us began to board and we quickly made our way to our seats on the upper-deck.

Being a coach jockey on American and Delta, with the seldom first-class upgrade, I have never flown in such comfort. First, I was greeted with my own personal complimentary mini-bar filled with water and sodas. I also had complimentary socks, an eye-mask, and a nice toilet kit. Additionally, I had a blanket and Sony noise-canceling headset to use during my trip. Upon take-off, I began to play with my seat that allowed me to recline and, when the time was right, fully lay down flat. I was in heaven!

After a brief delay, we took-off around midnight and the very attentive flight attendants quickly gave me a dinner menu. Per the menu, dinner started with “a selection of cold canapés which included mini goat cheese wrapped in grilled zucchini, California crabmeat roll and smoked duck toast.” As an appetizer, I had marinated prawns served on a crabmeat and avocado tower and for my main course I had a pan-seared filet of beef served on potato mezzaluna and Mediterranean style spinach, accompanied with a rich morel sauce and oven-roasted cherry tomatoes. I ended dinner with a Macadamia nut soufflé with chocolate sauce. Yeah, try finding all that on a flight within the US! After dinner, I took my Ambien and went to sleep watching re-runs of 30Rock on my personal 21 inch HD TV.

I awoke with approximately 2 hours left in the flight as breakfast orders were being taken. Breakfast was just as elegant and began with a beautiful fruit plate and I chose a cheese omelette served with roesti potatoes, sautéed chicken and apple sausages and grilled zucchini. After breakfast, I made my way to the restroom where terrycloth washcloths and complimentary toothbrush/toothpaste allowed me to freshen up for our arrival in Dubai.

We landed at around 9PM local time (12 noon EST) and went through passport control very easily. Upon fetching our bags we grabbed a cab and made our way to the Renaissance Hotel in the Diera neighborhood of Dubai. We had a slight problem upon check-in as they did not have a non-smoking room with 2 beds, so they put us in a room with a King bed for one night and brought me in a roller-bed for the night. While we were checking-in, Chris decided that he wanted to upgrade us to Club Level privileges, which also proved to be a very smart move as it allowed us access to the Club Lounge which serves breakfast, drinks in the evening and gives us complimentary internet there allowing us to easily (and cheaply) email and post to silly blogs.

2008 Year in Review – Part II

2008-12-25T16:12:00.011-05:00

April came and went rather quickly. First I made a trek back to Kansas City to see the Mid America Freedom Band perform their spring concert, “In the Mood for that Big Band Sound” which was really good. While I miss the group that I founded, I’m very happy to see them carrying on and being successful without me.

While in Kansas City, I also got to catch up with some old friends, such as Eric and Jay (see below). These are two of the people I miss most about Kansas City – dishing on everything with Eric at breakfast on Saturday mornings at Toto’s, and dishing all the Sprint gossip with Jay. Also, I met up with the old Kansas City Sprint team just in time to attend the “retirement” party for some of folks that were leaving in a voluntary workforce reduction. Poor Sprint… I hear more layoffs are on the horizon.

Upon my return, I had to get ready for the DCDD concert. This concert was a big more involved than our normal concerts due to the fact that Scott, the band’s leader for the previous 10 years, had decided to step aside. The concert was also the event where I was officially named the new Marching Band director for DCDD. With Scott’s departure, the board decided to split the duties of the Artistic Director into a director for Concert Band and one for Marching Band. Little did I know then what trouble lay before me (and yes, Matt Swearman, I’m talking about you!).

Since I was going to be announced during the concert, I went out and bought a new tuxedo for the event. Because I had no clue what to get or where to go, I dragged my good friend Shawn with me. After some half-hearted looking elsewhere, we decided to go with a basic tux from Nordstrom. Throw in buttons, cufflinks, a new shirt, cummerbund and bow tie (that you have to tie yourself), I dropped way too much money – but I look damn good in it! However, it is a bit embarrassing when I had to get daddy-Blake to help me tie it.

In early May, I traveled to Portland, Oregon for the LGBA Board of Director’s Mid-Year meeting. It was a very intense experience and some personality clashes erupted, but it was good to see some of my favorite people and spend some quality time with them. While in Portland, we made a visit up the Columbia River to the falls about 30 miles east of town. I’ve been out there many times, but I loved seeing others enjoy the beauty of the Cascades.

Immediately upon returning from Portland (literally, within hours) we had our first rehearsal of the DCDD Marching Band. I think everyone (including myself) was surprised at the turnout. From what I’m told, it was the largest turnout in many years. Rehearsals continued Monday nights through the end of July and I think my friendships within the band really grew as a result of the activity.

Also in May, I traveled to North Carolina to visit Jinx and Cory and to participate in the North Carolina Pride Band concert. This was the first time I was under the baton of Chris Hankins, the new director there, and could not have been more impressed in her professionalism, kindness to the musicians and organizational skills. Additionally, Kristen Stinnett did a great job as assistant conductor. I’m very happy at the way that band is coming together. And I was even more pleased to spend some quality time with Jinx, Cory, Lisa and Eddie.

June began with the Marching Band getting ready for Capitol Pride 2008. With guests and Band Aides, we marched nearly 40 at the event on Saturday. Even though it rained on our parade, I think everyone had a wonderful time. Then on Sunday we performed at the Arts Stage to great applause. Afterward, we hung out for a while and listened to DC Swing! Play and Lisa Marie and I even shook our tail feathers for a bit.

The rest of June was really devoted to Drum Corps as we got ready for the summer season. More on that in Part III of the 2008 Year in Review!

2008 Year In Review - Part I

2008-12-23T06:47:00.006-05:00

I’ve heard what many people have been saying of late, “Why aren’t you updating your blog, Zach?” Well, the truth of the matter is that I’ve been a little busy in 2008. So I thought I’d provide a “year-in-review” for everyone to get up to speed on my goings-on.

Part I: January through March
I started 2008 with wonderful friends in scenic (and rather chilly that time of year) Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. One of my oldest, closest friends, Scott, had come to DC for the holiday and we were invited to the beach by my friends Verne and Shawn.

We spent the holiday in a charming little B&B called The Sea Witch, and landed in their house themed after the 1960’s TV Sitcom Bewitched (specifically, we stayed in the Darin II room). As midnight approached, we ventured out in the rain to a party hosted by friends of Verne and Shawn. The party was quite tame, and midnight came with me giving Scott a big ole kisss. As everyone became more and more inebriated one of the guys wanted everyone to strip down to their underpants. While I was not about to do this, Scott dropped his pants to reveal some hot-pink briefs with white trim. I knew it was time to head out at this point.

On New Year’s Day, we checked out of the B&B and proceeded back to Virginia, with a stop in Dover so that Scott could visit another state capitol building and we went to Best Buy and purchased brand new digital cameras - you have to love “tax-free” Delaware!

Later in January, I made a trip to North Carolina to see Jinx and Cory, with the intention of attending a Carolina Gold Drum & Bugle Corp rehearsal. I wanted to see what this DCA Corp was all about. I ended up meeting a lot of people, learned a great deal about marching and became very excited to become part of this organization’s rebuilding effort. Little did I know how much this event would steer the rest of my year. I won’t mention every single rehearsal for the season, but I ended up going to Rocky Mount for rehearsals 2 weekends a month through Labor Day.

February approached and I got some mind-blowing news at work. My co-worker had decided to take another job outside of the company and Valentine’s Day would be his last day. To say that I panicked a bit would be an understatement. I had dreams about work where my boss kept asking me why I did not know something, and all I could do was stand there silently. In hindsight, this was a wonderful thing for me professionally. The co-worker had been very territorial on the functions of the office and with him gone, I was able to learn a great deal in a very short amount of time. To help facilitate the transition, my boss asked me to attend a Society for International Affairs conference in Miami at the beginning of March.

As the conference neared, I decided to make a weekend out of my time in South Florida. I contacted my friend Chris, who lives in Ft. Lauderdale, and told him that I was coming to town and to get a party together. On Saturday evening, March 1, I celebrated my 32nd Birthday with Chris, his new boyfriend Ken, Adam & John (other friends from Lauderdale - see below) and Chris’s co-worker Dierdra at a wonderful Brazilian steakhouse in downtown Ft. Lauderdale. I stuffed myself and after dinner we headed back to Chris’s for a good night’s sleep. The next morning, we went to one of the millions of “Original Pancake Houses” and then Chris took me to my hotel in Miami to get ready for the conference – which was very good, by the way. I learned a lot about International Traffic in Arms (ITAR) regulations, Technical Assistance Agreements (TAA) and Export Licenses.

March also included Easter Sunday. Shawn, Verne, Larry and I decided to have a nice Sunday Brunch and celebrate the holiday. We went to a charming little restaurant in NW DC called Chef Geoff’s and had a wonderful conversation along with wonderful food. To keep the spirit of the holiday alive, Larry even brought chocolate bunnies for us!

Finally, I closed out the first quarter of the year by attending the LGBA event, Experience the Music, in Indianapolis. It was a great time to spend with lots of friends from around the country and was documented at length on this blog, so I won’t go into details. But it was a wonderful event and one that I hope can continue for years to come.

Stay tuned for Part II, April through June.

She's Got A Chicken To Ride...

2008-07-18T17:53:00.003-04:00

A few years ago, the "Oldies" station in Kansas City ran a series of commercials about misheard lyrics to songs. They were all really funny, but my favorite was one with a little girl in the back seat of her mom's car singing, "She's got a chicken to ride, she's got a chicken to ri-hi-ide" to the tune Ticket to Ride by the Beatles.

This seems to be a phenomona for singers and no one knows what the hell they are saying. Here is an interpretation of a Christina Aguilera song that is spot on.

Why I'm Voting Republican...

2008-06-16T22:04:00.001-04:00

Can't wait to hear from "The Bean" about this one!

Election

2008-06-03T18:16:00.002-04:00

One of my favorite movies of all time, along with Clue and Drop Dead Gorgeous, is the 1999 film Election. The movie stars Reese Witherspoon as Tracy Flick – a cut-throat go-getter who wants nothing more than to win the Student Body President election. Standing in her way is Paul Metzler, the jock who is put up to run based solely on his popularity.

Tracy, while her point of view is skewed, has a genuine concern: Someone comes along, who you feel is unqualified, and threatens the plan for which you’ve worked your entire life - and it has to be frustrating as hell. I think its funny how similar the Tracy Flick vs. Paul Metzler campaign mirrors the Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama campaign.

If the AP is to believed, Barack Obama will have enough delegates to secure the Democratic nomination tonight, and I feel a bit sad for Hillary. Whether she will concede the nomination and stop her fight, or drag this whole thing out until the convention in August will yet to be seen. If the movie Election is any indication, we may be in for a long summer.

One Crazy Month

2008-06-01T23:21:00.012-04:00

Hello? Anyone still out there? Miss me? Frustrated that I haven’t kept this darned thing updated?

Yeah, me too.

So if anyone is listening, let me give you an update on what has happened since that fateful concert weekend.

The LGBA Board of Directors traveled out to the West Coast the first weekend of May for our annual Mid-Year meeting. It was a great trip; albeit there was some tension among some of the board members. I think we did get a lot accomplished and look forward to continuing to work with the team over the next few months leading up to the Deliciously Wicked conference Halloween weekend in NYC.

While in Portland, we stayed at the cute Kennedy School hotel. The hotel was a renovated schoolhouse turned hotel/conference center and was perfect for our little outing. We made a trip up the Columbia River Gorge and drove the Old Columbia River Highway out to Multnomah Falls (a staple for the PDX visitor) and then made a return to the Multnomah Falls Lodge for dinner on Sunday evening before flying home Sunday night.

The following night was DCDD Marching Band’s first rehearsal… sorta. I didn’t really know who would show up so I planned it to be more of a sight-reading session for the musicians to see how some of the music from the DCDD Library sounded. Wednesday of that evening, my friend Travis from Indianapolis was in town so we went to dinner (after a no-show DCDD Colorguard Open House at Mr. Henry’s) and talked about trying to get him a job in DC. HURRY UP TRAVIS!

Before I knew it, it was Friday and off to NC for Carolina Gold Drum Corps rehearsal. It was also Mother’s Day weekend, so I ended up going to Durham to take Cory her Mother’s Day present – some cooking sauces that I thought she would like. Don’t worry, I gave the Biological mother some roses since I couldn’t be in Arkansas on her holiday.

Drum Corps is going very well and I’m very pleased to be part of it, even if I am driving 600 miles round-trip each (30mpg = 20gal gas at $3.95/gal = $79 in gas for my little trip, but very much worth it). I won’t talk much about it, but we will be debuting our 2008 show on July 5th in Manassas, VA and will continue performing on July 26th in Chambersburg, PA. I’m told that we might be marching with the DCA “Big Dogs” at a show in Syracuse, NY the weekend of Aug 2 and if that falls through we might be doing 2 shows in the Atlanta area the following weekend. Finally, we will do a “Friends and Family” show in Raleigh on Aug 23 and then off to Rochester, NY for DCA World Championships over Labor Day weekend. And hey, I’m getting a farmer’s tan too!

But back to the travel, the following weekend (May 15-19) I was back in NC. I picked up Lisa at BWI on Thursday evening and then we drove in the POURING rain to Durham arriving around 1AM Friday morning. What for? We were down for the North Carolina Pride Band’s concert. We joined our favorite piccolo player Eddie and a whole group from Atlanta’s MetroGnomes who came up to perform in the concert (not to mention Alfred Reed-killer Erin Frawley from Boston). It was a great time and reminded me a lot of the first days of MAFB when there were more BandTogether “guests” performing than there were MAFB members.

I drove Lisa back to BWI and then home to crash. I was beat and needed to get ready for DCDD’s first outdoor rehearsal the following day. Which I think was a great success. We have 2 more rehearsals before Capitol Pride, but I think we will do very well!

On Tuesday night of that week, my friend Jared and I made our way to the new Nationals Stadium. The entire evening went very well, minus the small problem finding an open car on the Metro getting down to Navy Yard on the Green Line, but we made it with time to spare. Sadly, the Nat’s lost 1-0 to the Phillies. No celebration for us.

Then last weekend was Memorial Day and where was I? Back in North Carolina for Drum Corps rehearsal. I’m told we have 6 minutes of drill on the field (but it seems like so much more!) Only 4 more minutes to go! I’m so looking forward to this season. After camp on Sunday, I drove to Durham to pick up the Sousaphone that Jinx worked on for DCDD and just couldn’t muster the energy to drive home, so I took a shower and fell asleep on the recliner love seat. I’d have felt guilty, but Jinx and Cory were partying it up in the woods near Boone, NC so I had the house to myself.

I got up on Monday morning and made a bee-line for DC. After fending off 2 firey crashes, 1 motorcycle that fell off a trailer and a semi whose front tire fell off – all on I-95 – I finally made it to Matt and Terry’s BBQ on Memorial Day. What better way to spend the holiday than with some of your favorite people – most of them from DCDD. It has only taken me nearly 2 years, but I’m starting to feel like I belong in DCDD – not an outsider. I had a total blast! After the BBQ, I met up with Shawn at Circa in Dupont Circle for dinner and we just sat on the patio and watched the people walk by.

Now fast-forward to last week. Work has been very busy – I’ve been working to put together a venue for a “Day of Learning” event for work and trying to get my training schedule put together for this year. And then last night, I met up with Shawn and his friend Jason for dinner at Lorial Plaza and then we went for a drink at Duplex Diner. Lots of fun!

And this weekend? Nothing! Zero! No Plans! Nada! Ok, that’s kind of a lie, but I stayed at home mostly and watched Season One of 30Rock. I went to a movie with Parag Friday night – either IronMan. Saturday night I hung out and saw And Then She Found Me with Shawn. Then Sunday night, I saw the Sex in the City movie with Jared. And sleep… lots of sleep. I’m exhausted!

Weekend Recap: DCDD Concerts

2008-04-28T22:54:00.007-04:00

This weekend, we marked the end of Scott’s reign as the Artistic Director of DCDD with two shows – one Friday evening, one on Saturday. Friday evening started with me zipping into the District just in time to make the 7:00PM call time. We went through some of the “rough spots” and then retired to the Green Room (also known as the basement) to finish getting dressed and get ready for the concert.

I had on the new tux, but was having a horrible time getting the dang bow-tie tied, so I enlisted the help of Papa Bear Blake to help out. But don’t think I was the only one, Miss Matty (if you’re nasty) also needed some assistance with his. But once it was tied, the coat was on, I looked damn good! Now, I need to find some more “black-tie” events to attend.

The concert Friday went off ok, but I don’t think it was our best by any stretch. I mean, we are really our own worst critic, but I doubt anyone in the audience had any complaints. I have to admit that a couple of the pieces we played I really liked. October by Eric Whitaker is one of my favorites and I’ve been lucky enough to play it with two groups in the last month (I also performed it with the Experience the Music in Indianapolis back in late March). I also really like the Hobbits movement from the Lord of the Rings Symphony.

After the concert, my friend Parag and I met up with Shawn, Verne, Larry, Mike and Carlos over at McCormick & Schmidt for dinner and drinks. Then I was off, going home to get some restful slumber to do it all over again.

Saturday started like most any other Saturday – I laid in bed and watched TV. I really had no motivation to get up so I cleaned off the TiVo and then moved to the living room to nap on the couch. I really wasn’t feeling well and I’m still fighting that darned allergy/cough thing that has been bothering me since that fateful trip to Indianapolis. I was feeling well enough to order in some Chinese, though, and after dinner, I decided it was time to start getting ready for the evening’s festivities.

I made it to the church on time (wasn’t that a song?), and got a really good warm-up – something that I haven’t been getting lately. I was able to tune my horn slides prior to everyone getting upstairs and playing as loudly as they could and was generally relaxed. Like the night before, the group did some warm-ups, hit some rough patches and then went downstairs to the Green Room. It was déjà vu all over again as I enlisted Papa Bear Blake to tie my bow-tie again, then everyone tuned and went back upstairs for the performance.

I think everyone on-stage will admit that the performance on Saturday evening was 100-times better than Friday. Not to say there weren’t hiccups, but overall it went really well. I really only have two observations (they weren’t even really complaints). Mid-way through the second half of the concert, when the temperature was the hottest, the accolades for Scott began. Now, while many people have complained about Scott over the years (and myself being one of the silent critics), he has done wonders to grow the organization. Since attending my very first rehearsal back in September 06, I’ve been very impressed at the way the organization has been run artistically (although I have wept many times in the hope to have a real theme – Festivals? What the heck is that all about?). Challenging music has been chosen, difficult passages have been worked with extreme diligence and the group is much better for it.

However, some of the gushing by the guest speakers should have, in hindsight, been curtailed or done in a more appropriate medium. Each of the speakers gave very heartfelt monologues of how Scott and/or the band had made an impression on them and how they wanted to thank Scott for making that happen. I particularly enjoyed Matty’s speech because I think it was really similar to how many people join the band – by being invited by someone you know in it already. In his case, it was Scott. But when someone in the band turns to me and goes, “oh my god, we have three more to go!” I can only imagine the consensus of the audience to be much the same.

The other observation actually made me chuckle a bit. Not an evil chuckle or anything, but one of those, “there he goes again, ha ha” chuckles. After we played the last song and the standing ovation again, instead of exiting the stage area and going downstairs, Scott makes a walk down the aisle, grabs his kid and carries him to the back of the auditorium and out the door. I’m sure it was unintentional, but it seemed to have the flair of the dramatic exits that you see in lawyer movies after they win a big case, raising their fist in the air, walking out and into the sunset.

I don’t know if Scott reads this but I do know others in DCDD do. In the event that he does, I would like to thank him and wish him the best in his future endeavors. And whatever they are, if he puts the passion and dedication that he has exhibited in the short time that I’ve known him at DCDD, I’m sure he will be successful.

Now, I need to watch the video of my final concert in KC to see how well I can criticize my final concert (and I think I did leave with a fist-punch into the air).

Congrats!

2008-04-28T06:47:00.001-04:00

I would like to extend my congratulations to one of my closest, most dear friends. Eric A. accepted a new job last week as an Assistant Attorney General for the state of Kansas. Good luck with the new job, Eric!

The First Time “Out”

2008-04-24T22:27:00.004-04:00

On one of the blogs I normally read (Joe. My. God.), the ‘open thread’ today was: Tell us about your first time in a gay bar. Bar name, city, and year. Since this story came up recently over dinner with Verne, Shawn and Debbie, I thought I’d post it for everyone’s snickers, ridicule and judgment. Now remember, I was a good little “straight” Baptist boy at this point and gearing up for a trip to Mexico to do mission work over my upcoming Spring Break.

It was Mardi Gras Weekend 1995. I was a freshman at LSU and a friend of mine from the LSU Marching Band, Anni (pronounced AAH-nee) told me that I needed to go to New Orleans with her and her friends to “experience Mardi Gras with the locals.” (she was from Thibodaux, Louisiana). I agreed, along with 2 other guys, Brent and Justin, who were from Illinois. The next day we were off along with Anni’s friends Walker and Sharlene.

We arrived in New Orleans in time to get a good spot on the barricades at the corner of Canal and Tchoupitoulas (pronounced chop-a-TOOL-us) right where the parades turn. Walker and I were standing near each other and really did nothing but talk about T&A of people in the parade, and the girls standing near us. After a couple of Krews went by (I remember one was Endymion) we decided to go find something to eat and determine what to do next.

Walker was the one who mentioned it, “Let’s go to Oz!” I asked what Oz was, and Anni quickly responded, “It is a dance club, you wouldn’t want to go.” I was living large and told everyone that I’d like to go – to the shock of everyone. Yeah, I must have been uptight back then. We started walking to the bar and Anni told Brent and I that we all needed to go into a place on the way in order to get a drink. Unfortunately, Sharlene was only 17 and couldn’t get in so Walker and Justin stayed out with her (I later found out this was planned). After a few minutes, I left this bar with a full Hurricane and was ready to party!

We walked down to the corner of Bourbon & St. Ann and Anni told Brent and I that we needed to finish our drinks and that we’d catch up with the rest of the group. So there we stood looking around and I quickly made an observation, “Anni, there seems to be a lot of gay people around here.” She said that I was crazy, but I continued to look around and there were definitely a lot of gay people around. Anni eventually told me that we were in the gay area of New Orleans, but I asked why we were going to a dance bar in the gay part of New Orleans. “Walker is gay,” was her response.

Saying that I was shocked is an understatement. Walker was a tall, masculine guy – not the nelly, fem guys that I thought represented the gay population. Plus, we had been talking about girls not two hours before.

After a while, Walker and Justin (who was not ‘out’ at this point, although we all knew it was a matter of time – even then), came up to us and told us that Oz was charging $20 for cover and suggested we go to Bourbon Street Pub where it was free. Plus, they had strippers. Brent and I both shook our heads “no”. Anni told us that she was going in and if we didn’t want to, we could stand there on the street… together… alone. We finally relented and followed Anni, Walker and the gang into the bar.

Brent and I stood in the back while the rest of the group disappeared into the crowd of people ogling the nearly-naked men dancing on the bar. I don’t remember much, except for the guy who wandered by wearing a penis mask. After what felt like an eternity, Anni had her fill of the strippers (or Brent and I looked pathetic over in the corner), and she came and escorted us out of the bar.

That was my first time in a gay bar. It took me about 6 months to make it back to Arkansas, meet my first boyfriend, break-up with said boyfriend, and move back to Louisiana for my sophomore year of college before I’d go back again for the first time as a out gay man.

Target on My Back

2008-04-22T22:09:00.002-04:00

Over the past couple of days, I’ve been fighting yet another bout of allergies. So tonight, I dragged myself out of bed and went down to Nordy’s to pick up my new Tuxedo for this weekend (which I look really hot in, by the way… pictures this weekend!)

Anyhow, since I was over in Alexandria, I decided to stop by “Soviet” Target – you know, where the lines are long and the shelves are empty. I picked up some staples to help with the allergies: cough syrup, Vick’s Vapor Rub and some candy. As I was checking out, the nice young lady scanned the cough syrup and the register beeped at her. I asked her what that was all about and she said, “Don’t worry, we have to card anyone buying cough syrup who looks younger than 35.” I just glared at her.

For the record, I’m 32.

Project Glass Slipper

2008-04-19T23:18:00.003-04:00

Ok, I'm not an emotional person. I couldn't tell you the last time I cried, but the story about Project Glass Slipper at Fayetteville (Arkansas) High School made me choke up a bit. I think it is great that these counselors saw a need and have been working to make these girls dreams come true.

Honestly, I think I was so bitter with my High School experience that I barely remember my prom. I do remember I the tux I wore had a white tux jacket with black pants, and it must have rained because my "date" Summer G and I look drenched in the photo that my mother STILL has on display in the guest bedroom.

Music of Note...

2008-04-16T21:54:00.003-04:00

I'm a big ole band geek, I think everyone knows that. I often go out on the music websites and listen to recordings of band music just to hear what is out there and hope that one day I'll be asked to make a suggestion on what I'd like to play in some concert. Trust me, I'm prepared for that question (take note, Mr. New CPSB Director). Well, as I was listening today, I found a new favorite.

Robert W. Smith has been one of my favorite composers for a long time, probably since I played Songs of Sailor and Seas with the JC Winds 5 years or so ago. Well, the piece I found today is called Northwoods: Of Might and Mettle. It is supposed to reminicent of the life of a Lumberjack...

This is a musical depiction of the day of a lumberjack in the late 1800s during the great logging drives in Wisconsin. The work begins with "Daylight in the Swamp," a mysterious setting reminiscent of the early morning conditions. It then transitions to "Waking the Camp" and develops to "Felling the Trees," a very dynamic segment. "The Ice Breaks" and "On the River" draw the composition to a serious conclusion.

I especially like the last 2 minutes or so. It almost makes me wish I were a woodwind!

Making a Bad Situation Worse

2008-04-16T21:47:00.004-04:00

What can make having to go to the hospital with a 6in spray can of body spray up your bum worse? Having the doctors and nurses videotape it and post it on YouTube, of course! It seems that in the Philippines, a guy went out drinking and had a one-night stand and through some course of events that he does not recall, the spray can was inserted into his rectum and became stuck.

Now, the doctors and nurses who performed the “rescue mission” could possibly lose their license because they videotaped it and posted it for the world to see. Now, I admit, the medical staff was in the wrong on this one with making/posting the video, as well as hooting and hollering and cheering on the surgery. But come on, you have this happen to you and you don’t deserve some ridicule?

Craig's List Loonies!!!

2008-04-16T21:29:00.003-04:00

Last week I read a story about someone playing a “joke” on this guy up in Oregon. Evidently, while he was out of town, someone posted an ad on Craig’s List saying that he had to leave town suddenly and to come take whatever you could carry off. Why would they do this? Evidently a “Whiskey Tango” couple stole a horse saddle and wanted to cover it up. As trashy as they may seem, you have to admit, the plan was a good one!

The part that really disturbs me is that the guy showed up to his house, stopping people and telling them that it was a mistake, people just showed him the ad and took off. At least the cops are saying that they will prosecute anyone who does not return what they took. Good luck with that!

But evidently this is not the first time this has happened. It seems it happened about a year ago in Tacoma (what is it about the Pacific NW?). A lady evicted her sister from a house she rented out and evidently the sister got revenge by posting an ad that the house was abandoned and to come and salvage what you could. Sadly, the police didn’t get involved in this case because they claim it was a civil issue due to the “sibling rivalry”. Yeah, right!

Same ole, Same ole.... how true it is...

2008-04-16T20:37:00.001-04:00

Junk in the Trunk

2008-04-14T23:03:00.003-04:00

No, I'm not referring to my "back with a crack"! I wanted to open up some discussion of what is in the truck of your car.

Me?
1. French Horn
2. Mellophone
3. Lawn Chairs (2)
4. Umbrella
5. Music Bag
6. Emergency Kit
7. Blanket

So what's in your trunk?

My Apologies....

2008-04-13T10:32:00.001-04:00

Holy Cow! I can’t believe that its been a week and a half since I made my last post. Where did the time go? Ok, I make a promise to do better going forward. But, wow, its been a very busy since I got back from Indianapolis and I’ll be putting together some postings on all of it.

I came back from Indianapolis and Monday was a blur. Work has been crazy and finally the new guy starts on Monday so hopefully that will help down a bit. I’ve been working to get the DCDD Marching band plans together for this coming year. Also, I went to Kansas City last weekend to see the old gang and to see MAFB’s concert and then this weekend I’ve been in North Carolina to see Jinx and Cory and to go to Gold rehearsal.

So I have photos of all this, many stories to tell… just give me a few days to write.

F|_|cking Obama?

2008-04-02T21:09:00.008-04:00

Ok, I don't think its any big secret that I'm a Hillary supporter. But I also realize that if she is not the nominee, I'll be the first to stand up and mark my ballot for Barak Obama over John McCain.

But what REALLY cheezes me off is how divided people are about this campaign. We won't be able to do anything until we stand united and vote the Democrats back in office to make the changes this country needs. So back off, stop with the bull, let people vote and get on with it without slashing everyone else to pieces.

This crap has got to stop!!!

Nostalgia

2008-04-01T06:43:00.002-04:00

Last night, while fighting off an allergy attack, I took 2 Benadryl and was asleep by 6PM. So what happens? I’m up at 3:30AM – wide awake – and trying to find something on TV.

While I was out of town this weekend, the TiVo recorded the movie Jeffrey off of Logo. I remember that being one of my favorite movies during my “coming out” years. For those of you who have not seen it, it is about a guy who gives up sex because its just too complicated – then meets his Mr. Right. Chaos ensues because Mr. Right is HIV+ and that complicates things even more. Eventually, Jeffrey’s friend Darius dies from complications and teaches him that you need to live for today and deal with tomorrow when it happens.

I’m probably guilty of romanticizing the “early years” but it really made me miss the old days. You know, the days when anything was possible, before life took over? I don’t know why I’ve been feeling like this a lot lately. I recently found some old CD’s and downloaded a song called “Sunshine After The Rain” by Berri. The memories started flooding back and I remembered dancing to that song at Oz in New Orleans back in 1995-6.

Oh the warm fuzzies that nostalgia can bring.

Experience the Music - Indianapolis

2008-03-30T22:48:00.014-04:00

I’ve spent the entire weekend in Indianapolis for the LGBA/Pride of Indy Experience the Music event. I don’t know if any of the Indy folks read this, but they put on a stellar event.

I arrived into Indy around 3:00PM and Aaron was in the airport ready to pick me up. He took me to the hotel and I got settled in. I did get a nice surprise though; Gwen from BandTogether was going to be staying with Lisa and me. I really like Gwen. She’s hip, she’s forward, and she has no shame. Pretty much everything I look for in a roomie.

Shortly thereafter, Kevin from Houston Pride Band showed up at my door and after a little Cosby show on television and some gossip about HPB. We then hooked up with one of the conductors, Brian from New York Big Apple Corps and we headed over the Music for All/Bands of America headquarters to register for the event.

Indy Pride Band president Shelly was greeting people at the door and handing out welcome packets. I helped her out for a while, greeting everyone as they came in and After getting caught-up we sat down for sectional rehearsal. The music was pretty difficult, but it did us some good to read through it prior to the big rehearsal on Saturday.

After sectionals, we hung around for a while and had a small reception in the Bands of America office. You could tell, everyone was geared up for a fun and exciting weekend. After a little co-mingling, we went to the Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner around the corner.
By this time, it was closing in on Midnight and you can see that I was starting to fade.

Saturday morning, everyone met at Southport High School for rehearsal. From 9AM until 6PM we played. You could tell everyone was getting quite tired by the time we were done.
After rehearsal, we went for a quick dinner with Shelly, Travis and Laura at Pizzeria Uno and then back to the hotel to get ready for the social event.
Laura and Shelly picked us up and off to The Metro bar for some liquid refreshment. After goofing off for a while, Gwen, Kevin and I decided it was time for us to turn in. We hitched a ride back to the hotel with Roller Derby Princess Snide Piper. After a quick shower, Gwen and I started talking and, I hate to say it, I fell asleep while Gwen was talking. Sorry Gwen!

Today had us up early and at dress rehearsal at 9AM. After running some of the music, we broke for lunch and went to the hotel to change. The concert started at 2PM and went very well. Like every other musician, I’m normally more critical of myself (and others) but I think the audience enjoyed it and we were all glad to have pulled it off.

Now time to start thinking of next year’s Experience the Music event… wonder where it will be.

The Big Black Travel Cloud…

2008-03-30T22:00:00.004-04:00

Well, the big, black travel cloud has reared his ugly head again.

Since I started working at the new company late last year, I’ve taken quite a few business trips and even more personal (read: LGBA) trips. My co-worker PJW has this joke that I have a horrible black travel cloud that follows me.

It started back in October of last year. The new company asked me to attend a export/import symposium in San Diego. Upon arriving in the city, I found the city up in flames, people being evacuated, and so forth. The morning the symposium was to begin, the head of the group came in to the meeting and stated, “we have to cancel due to the fires. Please check out of the hotel and go home.” Well, that would have been fine and well had my plane ticket going home, but I was on my way to Houston for a camping trip. Luckily, I was able to talk American Airlines into letting me fly to Dallas, stay there a few days (and work with a co-worker) and then continue my trip to Houston.

Then in November, I was asked to go to Denver to help with a site audit. The Frontier flight was about 6 hours delayed leaving DCA, so I missed the first day of the audit. On my final day, a leak in the hotel room above mine caused my bathroom to flood and I had to move to a new room at 5AM. Finally, when I came home, Frontier misplaced my suitcase. The audit went well though.

Now, it is 9:56PM EDT and I’m supposed to be well on my way to BWI, back from Indy. Evidently, there were some crazy-storms in Chicago this afternoon and they shut the whole airport down. So what does that mean? It means that United Airlines has been playing catch-up all day and my flight doesn’t leave Chicago until 11:50PM (ironically, very near the time I’m supposed to be landing. Lets also add in that I think I’ve come down with a cold/flu thing (again… didn’t this just happen 2 weeks ago???) and I can tell you my wait is miserable.

So my schedule for the next 24 hours has me leaving ORD at 11:50PM (all times EDT), landing at BWI around 1:50AM, hopefully in my car by 2:30AM, at home by 3:30AM in bed and asleep by 4:00AM and up at 7:00AM so that I can be perky for a training class that I am teaching at 8:30AM, 10:30AM and 2:00PM. I think as soon as that class is over, I’m probably going to go home and take a nap. With luck, I’ll feel better and can make it to band rehearsal. If not, it may be a 2 Nyquil night and sleep through until Tuesday morning.

South-WORST?!?

2008-03-28T12:17:00.009-04:00

Well, I’m on my way to Indianapolis for LGBA’s Experience the Music event. I’m really looking forward to spending the weekend with some of my fellow band geeks and get to know the Indy Board of Directors a bit better.

In order to get there, I found a cheap flight from Baltimore to Indy on Southwest. I haven’t flown Southwest since going to Gay Days at Disney last summer, but I don’t know why not.

Minus the 45 minute drive to BWI from my house (without traffic at 10:30AM), the experience has been great. The check-in line was quick. The lady who checked me in was sassy and funny (and offered to sell me a seat so that I wouldn’t have to check my French Horn) and the security line – well, I was it. There was no line.

Now, I’m sitting at my gate in these WONDERFUL chairs charging up my laptop. Southwest at BWI has finally figured out what the traveling public needs – comfy chairs and power ports. I don’t know why everyone at every other airport in the country has a problem with this. And to put the cherry on top of this sundae of a trip: my flight is on-time. When was the last time that happened?

Now for what will probably show to be the jinx of the trip - the new boarding process. I will admit, I'm not sure I understand it yet, but come 12:55 I guess I'll have to figure it out.

WANTED: Creative Minds

2008-03-27T09:47:00.001-04:00

Everyone, I need your help. I’ll talk about it in a later post, but I’ve decided to start my own little travel agency as a part-time job. I’m currently going through some training exercises, investigating affiliations with whom to partner and am putting my little plan together. However, I have one small problem: I need a catchy name!

I do have a couple of rules, however.
1. Keep it clean (my mom reads this)
2. Nothing dealing with “gay”. Yes, I’ll be able to book your Olivia and Atlantis cruises, schedule your Pride trips, or book you in romantic little B&B’s, but I don’t want it to be all about the gay.
3. I’d rather keep my name out of it.

Other than that, knock yourself out! You can either use the comment tab (preferred) or email me with it. Thanks so much for your help.

Lingering in the Loo

2008-03-26T23:16:00.003-04:00

What is it with the darned janitors at my office? They are really starting to get on my nerves!!!

Let me start with saying that I have every bit of respect for those who work in custodial services. It is a job that I would not want. Cleaning up after everyone else’s mess gives me the willies. I have so much respect, I’ll even admit to having a small crush on “the janitor” on Scrubs. But the janitors at my office give the rest of them all a bad name.

My very first day at the new company had me in an All-Hands meeting. At that meeting, there was an announcement that some of the bathrooms had been remodeled and the recruiter leaned over and told me, “you’re so lucky, your office is right down the hall from the new bathrooms.” I thought that was an odd thing to say.

After being at work for a few weeks, I have to say that, indeed, I was very lucky to have the remodeled bathrooms down the hall. I’ve even heard that some folks from other parts of the building come to our annex just to go to the bathroom, and after seeing some of the other bathrooms, I don’t blame them.

The problem, though, is that they are always closed for cleaning. I’ve always kidded my co-workers that it seems that every time I need to go, the janitor is in there cleaning, but today took the cake. I attempted to go to the restroom three times today, and each time, they were closed and I had to go to the other annex. THREE TIMES! ONE DAY! What in the world are they doing in there? I don’t think its cleaning as it never looks “recently cleaned” when I am able to get in there. Maybe they’ve got a flat screen hidden in there and are watching Scrubs?

The Power of Suggestion

2008-03-26T07:29:00.003-04:00

I think I might be becoming a hypochondriac. You know one of those persons who hear about a disease or disorder and suddenly they have it. Well, my neurosis raised its evil head again today – 2 days in a row!

Yesterday, I was reading the news and saw an article about a man who reached into his suitcase after returning from a trip, only to find that a rattlesnake had gotten in the bag. The snake ended up biting the man's hand and the he had to go to the hospital (but will make a full recovery). Yeah, this guy lives right up the street (figuratively) from me. That could have been my suitcase! So what happens? My left hand hurt all day yesterday.

This morning I wake up and turn on the television and an infomercial is on about “good colon health”. So I watch a few moments of people talking about how bloated and fat they were before taking the supplements. Once they took Dual Action Cleanse, all the mucus and backed up waste just flowed out of their innards into the best BM they’ve ever had. They are thinner, happier and by far “cleaner” than they’ve ever felt before.

So what happens? The logical side of my brain knows it is a hoax, but I still feel bloated and backed up today… damn you Dual Action Cleanse!

The Dating Haitus

2008-03-25T22:25:00.001-04:00

Ok, I made a comment in a previous post that I was currently on a dating hiatus and I’ve had multiple people ask me why. I have this theory that I’d like to share for the whole world to read and ponder, debate, and share with the masses.

People hate to be alone during the winter. If you take out the snuggly times by the fire and romantic walks during a gentle snowfall, the winter is a pretty selfish time of year. Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look.

Halloween is really the last big hurrah of the summer/fall season. Everyone dresses up, goes to parties and when it ends, everyone thinks, “Oh crap, it is almost time for the holidays!” At that point, its task #1 to find someone to date. Lower standards! Overlook flaws! Just don’t let me be alone for the holidays! So what do you get? Well, you often meet people who are so desperate to not be alone that they will date anyone (even those repulsive on the outside or inside, mostly inside though).

Thanksgiving comes and you part ways for the long weekend. I mean, you can’t take someone you’ve known for 2 weeks home for Thanksgiving dinner with mom & dad, can you? There are countless text messages going back and forth professing how much you miss the person and can’t wait to see him at the airport on Sunday night. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and you might even be bold enough to mention to the family, “Hey, I met this great guy a few weeks ago” to everyone’s relief.

Then Christmas is upon you. You get to put time thinking, planning and shopping for that perfect gift for Mr. Right (Now), which studies have shown makes you happier. You also get warm fuzzies knowing that he is out there doing the same thing for you.

Holy cow! Next up is New Year’s Eve. Big plans are made – vacations, parties and don’t forget you’ve got someone to kiss at midnight.

Then comes the biggest day of the year, the make-or-break day: Valentine’s Day! You sit at work waiting on the florist to show up with those roses. Then comes a romantic dinner in a fancy restaurant before the fireworks of your own making.

Then things start to change. Memorial Day is a long ways off. You both get tied up with “life”. Taxes are due. You both put on a few pounds so you need to spend more time at the gym and less time snuggling.

Then it happens. Someone decides its time to cut bait and the relationship ends… just in time for some “Summer Lovin’ “

Personally, for me, its even worse. With my birthday being on March 2, as soon as Valentine’s Day is over, he would bring the relationship to a screeching halt in order to save the time, money and effort into helping me celebrate my day.

So that is the theory of winter dating, and why I’m currently on hiatus. Is it bitter, jaded and highly negative? Probably, but I’ve seen it happen to many, many, many people and I’m sure you have too (heck, it probably has even happened to you). But what can you do? Do like me and endure until April 1!

Bad Dates

2008-03-24T23:59:00.001-04:00

A friend of mine is working on a short documentary where people tell the story of their worst date on around 90 seconds. It really got me thinking about my “worst date”, so I thought I’d share. God knows I’ve had my fair share, but I think the one that sits on my mind was the last person I went out with prior to going on a self-imposed dating hiatus on Dec 1.

Let’s start by saying I’m not really a religious guy. I believe in some level of higher being, but who is to say that it is Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha or Donald Trump? Worship whoever you want, just don’t expect it from me. This evidently caused a problem when I went out with a guy last fall. Hyper-sensitive, judgmental holy-rollers and I do not get along well.

It started simple enough, we were both on an online dating site and started chatting. He worked for a government agency that had him stationed at various points around the world, and I wished I did. I was really interested in his job, so I probably kept the conversation moving by asking more and more questions. As a side note, he wasn’t bad to look at in his photo, either.

We chatted quite a while online before finally deciding to meet. We decided on a day shortly after I returned from a trip back home to KC. In our conversations, we had discussed how he had spent a short period in Baghdad. It was there he “found Jesus” and when his job brought him back to Washington he quickly found and became very involved in a local church. I made it very clear up-front that religion doesn’t play a large part in my life and if that was going to be a problem, maybe we shouldn’t meet. He as very insistent, however, so we found ourselves at a local burger joint.

When we met, he seemed very awkward and I could tell he was nervous. After a while, I realized that that awkwardness from his nerves has turned into more judgment. It turned out it was that he was extremely uptight and hyper-critical. While talking about my life and my friends, he started asking probing questions that just seemed a bit too accusatory. After a while, I made a comment that I needed to stop talking about myself or else his head would explode. To his credit, he played it off coolly – at least for a few minutes - but I could tell he was definitely ready to get out of there.

At that point, I figured I had nothing to lose and decided to play with his head a bit by trying to see how riled up I could get him. I started telling him stories of my old “party” days in New Orleans. I told him about my friends and their careers in the adult film industry and finally ended up with a story about a friend who had an infection due some of his actions at a fetish festival. I have never seen anyone so anxious to get away from me. I gave him a ride home (slowly just to torture him) and he hopped out of the car almost before I could stop.…

All I can do is chuckle.

On the Town

2008-03-24T00:09:00.007-04:00

Well, with this being one of my only weekends in DC this spring, I decided to make a party of it. The only problem was that I had no clue as to what to do. So I decided to make a visit over to the Metro Weekly and see what was going on in town Saturday evening. On the calendar of events, I found a listing for a “Gay Guys New To DC” meet-up event Saturday evening. Evidently this is a fairly new meet-up group for folks who are somewhat new to the DC area and wish to meet others in similar situations. I mean, DC is not exactly known for its hospitality, right? One of my favorite quotes about the city is, "Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm” which is attributed to John F. Kennedy and I’ve found that 'northern charm' to be very true especially when dealing with the people.

I figured, “what the heck?” so I registered to be part of the meet-up group and emailed the coordinator to make sure it wasn’t too late to RSVP for the scheduled dinner and outing. Clyde, the groups organizer quickly emailed me back to confirm. I was registered, and off I went.

The group met up at Alero at 13th and U NW. When I arrived (20 min late – as normal) there were only 3 guys who had showed up. Evidently the holiday weekend had taken a toll on attendance, but we were not deterred. Clyde, Andrew, Mike and myself sat down for dinner and were joined shortly thereafter by CK.

After dinner, we decided to go over to the new bar Town. I had never heard of the bar before, but I have to say that I really enjoyed myself. It really reminded me of the Cabaret in Kansas City before it closed. You walked in to an area with a stage and drag queens trying to embarrass shirtless twinkie boys (oh The Flo Show, how I miss you). And from what I gather, after the show is over, the dance floor turns to more contemporary music. After a while, we went upstairs and watched the masses gather. The music there was more trance-ish, not really my style, but I did enjoy people watching.

It is weekends like this that I realize how few friends (not acquaintances) that I have here in DC and I realize that is something that I need to work on. Clyde has already scheduled the next meet-up for April and I’m looking forward to another function to where I can meet more local people. Thank god that I’ll at least know a few already.

Happy Easter!

2008-03-23T14:10:00.005-04:00

Happy Easter to all of you out there so inclined to celebrate the holiday. Mine has actually been pretty good.

Shawn made brunch reservations at Chef Geoff up in Northwest for 11AM for himself, Verne, Larry and I. I was initially opposed to this, merely because the name is so cutesy, but I’m glad I went. It was a cute little place with a decent brunch menu. I ended up eating the Texas Scramble which was very good, but I could have done without the tortilla chips. Larry was very thoughtful and brought each of us a chocolate Easter Bunny. As you can see, it didn’t take long for me to rip into it as soon as I got home.

I think the rest of the day will be pretty low key. Watch some TV, do some work, might go to the gym for a while. And in honor of Jesus’s raising from the dead, I might take a nap as well.

TiVo-licious - Breaking Bad

2008-03-22T07:33:00.007-04:00

Thank goodness for Tivo. Being on "the go" as much as I am, I'd never really ever get to watch TV without it. That being said, I've had some time over the past few days to really tear into the long, laundry list of shows waiting for me...

Breaking Bad: The new show on AMC was really hyped a lot on the blogs that I read, so I set the TiVo to capture it. Week after week, the episodes in my list grew and grew, all the way to the season finale without even a hint of me watching it. Finally I broke into it and watched all 7 hours over the course of 2 days earlier this week. WONDERFUL!

If you haven't heard of it, the dad from "Malcolm in the Middle" plays Walter, a high school science teacher who finds out that he has terminal lung cancer. Knowing that he has very little time to live, and through some odd circumstances, he meets up with a former student and they start cooking crystal meth. Chaos ensues -- murder, violence, theft, this show has it all. The only problem that I have with the show is that the characters are a bit over the top. Walter is this meekly guy who has to come out of his shell to survive; the folks in the meth underworld are stereotypical bad guys and the brother-in-law, who is a DEA agent, is a know-it-all alpha male.

Its not a show that I would typically watch - very heavy; lots of serious themes; lots of violence... some a bit too graphic for my taste - but I can see why it got all the hype. I don't know how realistic it actually is, but it was very dark, entertaining and definitely worth the time.

Marching in a New Direction

2008-03-21T23:21:00.004-04:00

Well, it looks like it is finally official. On Tuesday evening, March 18, the Board of Directors of DC’s Different Drummers made me the new Marching Band Director. I don’t think it would be considered “speaking out of turn” to say that the DCDD Marching Band has lacked in attention the last few years from the current artistic leadership and I plan on turning that around. I’m pretty much going to run the operation similar to the way I ran the band in Kansas City, with a focus on “fun”.

I’m meeting with the President of the Board tomorrow morning to go over the contract and give him my ideas on how I would like to proceed. I’ve got a lot of work to do so that we can hit the ground running as soon as Capitol Pride Symphonic Band wraps up their season in late April.

By the way, if you are going to be in DC the weekend of April 25-26, go to www.dcdd.org and buy tickets to see CPSB in concert (including me in the French Horn section).

You Suck?

2008-03-21T15:54:00.002-04:00

Ok, I’ll admit it, everything that I know about vampires, I learned from Buffy. Back around 2002 or so, I often heard my co-workers Scott and Lisa review the Buffy that was on the night before and rave about how clever the show was, how well it was written, and so on. It sounded like a quirky show, but really, what educated adult over the age of 20 watches a TV show about vampires?

Then one day Scott comes up to me and asks, “Are you going to watch the Buffy musical tonight?” I had no clue what he was talking about and he explained that an episode of Buffy was being made as a musical, and knowing my affinity for musicals, he thought I might watch. I was hesitant, but watched anyway. They had me at “Hell-Mouth”.

As luck would have it, a few days later, FX started re-runs of the show in episode order from the beginning – 2 episodes a day. I had the TiVo fired up and quickly fell in love with the “Scoobies” and that cute little hamlet of Sunnydale. I became obsessed, watching every episode two or three times and learned that the Slayer’s not only concerned with vampires, but also with demons, gods, and everything in-between. But I’m off the subject – this is a book review.

Let me set the stage. I have a conference in Miami and I’m en route. I get on the Metro headed for the airport, I put on my iPod and dig in my backpack for the book I’m currently reading, “Next” by Michael Crichton (talking monkeys anyone?). What? It is not there? What am I going to do on that 2 ½ hour flight to Miami? So without pause, I enter the Borders at National Airport and instinctively grab a book about Afghanistan or Sudan or Mongolia or some other country that is suffering and some author wanted to make a buck on it. As I’m standing in line, I hear the little voice of my friend Chris who criticized me for reading too many “heavy” books. I turned around and a vampire book was before me. With the knowledge that Joss Wheadon gave me concerning vampires and my affection for them, I picked up the book “You Suck” by Christopher Moore. I remember Chris recommending him as an author of the lighter fare. I picked it up and I was on my way to South Florida.

I have to say, it was an decent read. Something you’d find in the “easy reading” section of your high school library, only with a few more f-words and a great deal of violence. The beginning was quite slow, the middle got better and the end was just downright… well, lets put it this way, I felt he was given a quota of 266 pages and at page 230 he said “crap, I need to wrap this thing up”. Strangers who were nameless and never referenced earlier just showed up, and single-handedly wrapped things up in about 10 pages. Not to mention the character Steve and his light-machine that was somewhat convenient. It definitely was no Buffy.

The one true bright spot in the book was the chapters that shifted from third-person to first-person from the perspective of Abby - the teenage, goth-ish minion who wanted nothing more than to be a vampire herself. As she wrote in her journal, her observations were so funny that I was caught many times laughing on the train, the plane or wherever else I was huddled.

Overall, I give it 3 out of 5. I don’t regret reading it, but I wonder if I’d have been happier reading about pain and suffering in some far-off land. As for Buffy, my interest has faded somewhat over the years since cancellation. I heard that most of the cast recently re-united for a roundtable discussion at some television convention in LA that might have been fun to see. And I do really wish they’d start back up with the Buffy, the Musical sing-a-longs… “they got, the mustard out!”

Trying again...

2008-03-21T06:10:00.001-04:00

Hello!

This is Zach, the kid from Arkansas who lived in Kansas City for almost 10 years before moving to Washington, DC. Consider this the “Life and Times” of Zachie. This will be my fourth incarnation of this blog, but this time, I hope it will stick.

What will this blog contain? My ramblings mostly, little pieces of news and information that I find funny or interesting. I doubt anyone will actually read it so I’ll just keep it as my own little diary. I’ll talk a bit about my life, my struggles, my neurosis, my friends and whatever else comes to mind.

Have a great day and thanks for reading.

Zach